169 Best Yo Mama Jokes of All Time Best Life

Publish date: 2024-07-15

Before we begin, we want to make it perfectly clear that we have nothing against your mother. We've never met the woman, but she sounds like an upstanding person and a nurturing, wonderful parent. All of the jokes you're about to read are most definitely not about your beloved mom, who is beyond reproach and the best human being who ever existed. To be honest, we're not even sure why we're publishing all of these yo mama jokes. If you ask us, they're kind of old, cheap, and overused.

Just like yo mama!

Sorry, sorry, that was too easy. But that's what happens when the topic of yo mama jokes comes up. You feel strangely compelled to say things that no mature adult would ever say out loud about another person's mother. What kind of monster would do such a thing?

Well, according to a 2017 study from the Medical University of Vienna, making these jokes might mean that you're intelligent. That's right, enjoying humor that's dark, offensive, and really, really rude—like every yo mama joke ever written—could indicate a higher-than-usual IQ. That is, as long as it's clearly meant as a joke, and you never try to make a convincing case to a pal about why his mama is so ugly. There's a big difference between being funny and being a jerk.

Read on for 169 funny yo mama jokes, sorted by every category you could possibly think of. Share them at your own risk. And if yo mama asks, no, we weren't talking about her.

Best "Yo Mama" Jokes

Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.

Yo mama's cooking is so nasty, the house flies got together to fix the hole in the window screen.

Yo mama's so depressing, blues singers come to visit her when they've got writer's block.

Yo mama's so short, you can see her feet on her driver's license.

Yo mama is so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.

Yo mama's so classless, she's a Marxist utopia.

Yo momma is so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.

Yo momma's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.

Yo mama's so lazy, she has a stay-at-home job and still is late to work.

Yo momma so old, her Social Security number is one.

Yo mama is so mean that Taylor Swift wrote a song about her.

Yo momma so short, she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work.

Yo mama's so nasty, they used to call them "jumpolines" 'til she bounced on one.

Yo mama is so strict, she enforced a curfew for the entire neighborhood.

Yo momma so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.

Yo mama is so nasty, she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.

Yo mama's so poor, Nigerian princes wire her money.

Yo momma so short, she has to slam dunk her bus fare.

Yo mama's glasses are so thick when she looks at a map, she can see people waving.

Yo momma so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

Yo mama's house is so dirty, she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.

PG "Yo Mama Jokes" for Kids

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow when she smiles at traffic, it slows down.

Yo mama is so mean, even Hello Kitty said goodbye.

Yo mama is so nice, she'd give me the hair off her back.

Yo mama's lips are so big, when she smiles she gets Chapstick on her ears.

Yo momma is so lazy, she stuck her nose out the window and let the wind blow it.

Yo mama is so old, when she was a child rainbows were still in black and white.

Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.

Yo mama's so dumb, she failed a survey.

Yo mama is so dirty, she makes mud look clean.

Yo mama's arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear.

Yo mama is so scary, even Voldemort won't say her name.

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she makes Humpty Dumpty look like a gymnast.

Yo Mama's so old, when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo mama is so weird, she picks her nose just to be gross.

Yo mama's head is so big, she has to step into her shirts.

Yo mama's so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.

Yo mama's so strong, she can gargle peanut butter.

Yo mama is so scary, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Yo mama's so mean, they don't give her happy meals at McDonald's.

Yo mama's so confusing, even Scooby Doo couldn't solve that mystery.

More Funny "Your Mom" Jokes

Yo mama is so skinny, she hula hoops with a Cheerio.

Yo mama is so old, the back of her head looks like a raisin.

Yo mama is so poor, when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."

Yo mama is so lazy, she woke up from a coma and went to sleep.

Yo mama is so chatty, when she signed into Skype it said "Error: Too Much Information."

Yo mama's house is so small, when she drops a Kleenex she has wall-to-wall carpeting.

Yo mama is so old, her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.

Yo mama's nose is so big, she makes Pinochio look like a cat.

Yo mama is so old, she has an autographed bible.

Yo mama's so smart, she learned to rollover and beg in one day.

Yo mama is so tall, she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.

Yo mama's neck is so wrinkled, she can grate cheese on it.

Yo momma is so paranoid, they call her the alarm belle.

Yo mama's forehead's so big, you could show slides on it.

Yo mama is so stupid, she tripped over a wireless network.

Yo momma is so dumb, she makes up more words than Donald Trump.

Yo mama's so old, when she was born, the Dead Sea was still just getting sick.

Yo mama's so stupid, she told me to meet her at the corner of "Walk and Don't Walk."

Yo mama is so poor, she created a Gmail account just so she can eat the spam.

Yo mama is so hairy, people think she's an Ewok.

Yo mama is so stupid, she got locked in a mattress store and slept on the floor.

Best "Yo Mama Is So Fat" Jokes

Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.

Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.

Yo mama's so fat she wakes up in sections.

Yo mama's so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.

Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said: "To be continued."

Yo momma is so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears high heels, she strikes oil.

Yo mama's so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she's known as the Republic of Yo Mama.

Yo mama is so fat, she uses Google Earth to take a selfie.

Yo mama is so fat, not even Dora can explore her.

Yo mama is so fat, she gets group insurance.

Yo mama's so fat, when she went to KFC and the cashier asked what size bucket she wanted, she said, "The one on the roof!"

Yo mama is so fat, she has two watches one for each time zone she's in.

Yo mama is so big, her belt size is "equator."

Yo mama is so fat, when she talks to herself, it's a long-distance call.

Yo mama is so fat, she left in high heels and came back in flip flops.

Yo mama is so fat, that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.

Yo mama is so fat, her job title is Spoon and Fork Operator.

Yo mama is so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.

Yo momma's so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits around the house.

Yo mama's so fat, her car has stretch marks.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.

Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.

Yo mama's so fat, if she was a Star Wars character, her name would be Admiral Snackbar.

Yo mama's so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Best "Yo Mama Is So Stupid" Jokes

Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at a cup of orange juice for 12 hours because it said: "Concentrate."

Yo mama is so dumb, she thought Twitter was social media for birds.

Yo mama is so dumb, it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

Yo momma so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

Yo mama is so dumb, she sold her car to get gasoline money.

Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

Yo mama is so dumb, she put sugar on the bed because she wanted sweet dreams.

Yo mama is so dumb, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

Yo mama is so dumb, she thought KFC was UFC for chickens.

Yo momma so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.

Yo momma so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"

Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to eat Eminem.

Yo mama is so dumb, she cooked her own complimentary breakfast.

Yo mama is so stupid, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.

Yo mama is so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

Yo mama's so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.

Yo mama's so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked in the grocery store and starved to death.

Yo mama's so stupid, when I said, "Drinks on the house," she got a ladder.

Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.

Funny "Yo Mama Is So Ugly" Jokes

Yo mama's so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.

Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

Yo mamma is so ugly, when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo mama is so ugly, I told her to take out the trash and she left the house.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she was little, she had to trick-or-treat by phone.

Yo mama's so ugly, her birth certificate is an apology letter.

Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked back out with a job application.

Yo mama is so ugly, they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

Yo mama is so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo momma is so ugly, the psychiatrist makes her lie facedown.

Yo momma is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror Bloody Mary goes away.

Yo mama is so ugly, when your dad drops her off for work, he gets a fine for littering.

Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

Yo momma is so ugly, even the trash man wouldn't pick her up.

Yo mama is so ugly, she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Yo momma so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks.

Yo mama's so ugly, she could make an onion cry.

Yo mamma so ugly, even Ripley wouldn't believe it.

Yo mama is so ugly, she's only allowed to go out on October 31.

Yo mama is so ugly, I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Yo mama is so ugly, even bullets refuse to kill her.

Yo mama is so ugly, she made dirt look like a supermodel.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.

Yo momma so ugly that most Snapchat filters make her better looking.

Dirty "Yo Mama" Jokes

Yo mama is so skinny, her nipples touch.

Yo mama is so stupid, she got fired from a blow job.

Yo mama's like a race car driver—she burns a lot of rubbers.

Yo mama got more clap than an auditorium.

Yo mama's so pale, she could go to her wedding naked.

Yo mama's butt is so big, she bent over and got arrested for selling crack.

Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the s*** out of the toilet.

Yo mama's chest is so hairy, her breasts look like coconuts.

Yo mama's legs are like the library, they're always open to the public.

Yo mama is so skinny, that when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again.

Yo mama has been sleeping around so long, she's gotten with Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.

Yo mama is like a cigarette, I have her 40 times a day and she's killing me.

Yo mama's butt cheeks are so big, even Moses couldn't part them.

Yo mama is like a carpenter's dream: "Flat as a board and easy to nail."

Yo mama is so tall, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a dildo.

Yo mama is so crazy, that when she went to the Virgin Islands, they had to change its name.

Your mama is so easy that I'm your father.

Yo mama's legs are like Jif—easy to spread.

Yo mama's butt is so big, she has to use a reservoir for a toilet.

Savage "Yo Mama" Jokes From Movies

"Yo mama's so fat, that when she farts Al Gore accuses her of global warming." — Meet the Spartans

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries." — Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"I'll be playing with your mama tonight." — The Waterboy

"Your mama's so fat, she fell over, broke her leg, and gravy poured out." — White Men Can't Jump

"Your mother is so stupid, she exercises when she could just like, get liposuction or something." — White Chicks

"Your mom goes to college." — Napoleon Dynamite

"I'll have to remember that one the next time I'm climbing off yer mum." — Snatch

"Your mama's so fat, she heard it was chilly out and ran inside to get a bowl." — Everything Must Go

"Your mother is so fat, her belt size is equator." — The Nutty Professor

"I liked him better with the long hair, bro. Reminded me of Bertier's mama." — Remember the Titans

"Your mama's so fat, she's got every caterer on speed dial." — Malibu's Most Wanted

"Your mama's so old, she used to drive chariots to high school." — White Men Can't Jump

"Your mother cheated, that's why you look like a plumber." — Ender's Game

Wrapping Up

That's it for our list of yo mama jokes. Be sure to check back with us soon for even more fun. You can also sign up for our newsletter so you don't miss out on what's coming next!

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